The Perfect Guy

Who is he? A question every girl starts asking herself as soons as she hits puberty. And it becomes more intense when she's had a series of failed relationships right after it. First, its the childhood crush, then comes 'the first love' and then its jumping from one guy to another just for the sake of having someone on your arm to live upto. But no matter how far in life one goes, you never come across THE perfect one. Given afcourse that a lot of guys might have had some qualities that you've been looking for, but they never (NEVER!) seem to be in one person altogether. Why is that?

Think about it.

College groups, online dating sites, blind dates, friends of friends, social sites. So many ways to find him. and still he remains anonyme. Is it some kinda twisted game of fate that God plays with us, or...is it us?

Definitely us.

Why, you ask? C'mon ladies, you dont really think 'the perfect one' exists, do you? I mean, its like conjuring up a dress in your mind, all with the cuts and the ruffles and the perfect color, and expecting to find it at the store right in front of you. Unh unh. So not possible. But what is possible is if you walk into the store in front of you, choose a dress that matches as close as possible to your conjured image, and make it the perfect one.

Makes sense?

And that is exactly how it works in the real world. Dont try to find the guy. Let him walk up to you when the time is right. Overlook his negativities and praise his positive qualities. Compromise your needs with him. Share your dreams and understand his. And most of all, believe in him and his love. And you have found 'the perfect one'. And no matter how many times a week (or day) you crazy fight him, at the end of the day, it all comes back to
bringing you even more closer to him.

What wierds me out is how people have a complete wrong concept of 'how to meet your perfect guy'. And i blame it all on the sad-ass romantics that is ever so popular with the young and beautifuls. No, you never bump into him in a library aisle and he helps with the fallen books. No you never look across a cafe and its love at first sight. No its never 'I hated you when i met you first but never realised it was love all along'. And NO, the guy is never perfectly handsome and tall with clean shave and deep brown eyes. Afcourse i would give anythinnggg to have a fairytale life where cinderalla found her prince charming ever so easily. But HELLO, welcome to the real world! (Sucks, i know)
Its been quite a while now, that i had a convo like such with a friend. But it got me thinking. And so it has has stuck for the past two posts. Falling in love is easy, its how-long-you-stick-together part that shows you the real status of your relationship.

Lucky me to have that one friend I can talk to anything about. *winks*

Perfect Man

Thoughts about you all day...

and deep onto the night,

feel your heart beating with mine,

so close and yet so far,

reminiscing the childhood laughs,

the naughtiness, the aloofness.

So young we were to have realised,

that one day...

it will more than just play,

when unspoken words,

would play tricks with the mind,

when a simple touch,would bring fire to the blood.

Oh baby, listen to me here,

the silence speaks volumes to be heard,

that even though it may seem so impossible,

i still want you so bad,

and even if you dont care enough,

i will make you see all that,

and no matter how high the wall in between,

i will have you one day,

because you are my perfect man.

Spiritually purified?

So i return after one if the most moral-altering, head spinning trips ever. Its like i just landed on earth after a time spent on mars, without oxygen.

Reality has just hit me.

After a month of being so closely attached to divinity and issue-free days, feels kinda wierd to be pushed back into this stupid race of a life that we we seem to be chasing every single day.

Now problems seem minor, points of interest seem meaningless and people seem idiotic.

Its like everyone is missing out on the main point of existence, and running along without thinking or realising. Like hamsters on their spinning wheels. Going on and on and on.

And I know exactly what you're thinking. Has this girl changed tracks already? Has she become on of those? Has she finally lost her marbles?

No, No and No.

I am still the same old me, who would spend precious seconds on the smallest of thoughts and live life carelessly like a dangerous rollercoaster. But its like i have experienced a big chunk of life that i wouldnt want to let go. A part that i didnt know existed. Where money and time has no value. And only what matters is whether you have done justice by giving back as much as you were given in the first place? Or was it not enough?


A part of me still retains the feelings of complete mental freedom, that serenity in the mere thoughts. The peace that you have within yourself when you know that all the mistakes you ever made have been erased. How completely fulfilled you feel when you know you've got the attention that you always wanted. When every little wish is answered for. Its like a one-to-one with the most powerful force ever. Nothing compares.

Nothing.

This was a race to not earn as much money and fame as possible, but to reach a higher level of respect in the eyes of that one, in front of which we have to stand later on. Though this trip has had an amazing effect on my physical fitness (Thanks to prancing around the entire town on foot), it has mentally refined all those little thoughts that we seem to be having on the daily basis, letting us see the 'other side'.

I remember thinking during my second umrah as i walked along the long corridors, how do i describe on blog how i feel right now? What words do i put down? Guess there arent any perfect ones. Only the ones perceptive enough could sense emotions attached to moments like those. But why do i feel like i have lost that now? Why does the chemistry feel so...non-existent now?

The best part of this trip was that i had a lot of time to myself. To sort out my feelings, to understand the happenings around me. Why do people do what they do and why does everything seem so less of perfect? Why do we try to get what we cant have and throw away what we do? I thought and thought and thought.

And i finally figured it all out.

The glitch in all is that we are looking in the wrong places for the wrong needs. Its like looking for water in a desert and cactus on a beach. Totally hopeless.

But everyone has that moment in life when they realise this. You cant just walk upto someone and start explaining something only in ur mind. Let them hit the rough patch and figure it out themselves. Only will they then know that its not the world abusing them, but them themselves.
Satisfied with everything i did the past month, one question remains that I still ask myself. Have i been forgiven for the horrible mistakes i have made in the past? The people I hurt, the bad decisions I made? Have i been spiritually purified?

Some people...

What is life? Different people may answer this question in different ways depending on their beliefs. Some would say that life is a journey of religion, while others would call it a void in time. But i believe life is all about experiences. You mature in time with all the lessons learned as you excel at some points and make mistakes at others. And experiences always involve people. But not all people affect you in the same way, some may help you through to the right path, while others may leave a negative mark on you. So I categorized the types of people you come across;



Some people are there for life. You cant ever forget them no matter where in the world you are or however busy your life maybe. You may have met them very early in life, as a child, or later sometime. The fact that you may remember them maybe because you have a spent a good part of life living with them, or being close to them. Like childhood friends, parents and relatives. They usually dont ever influence you in a prominant kind of way. But you can always turn to them in times of need.


Some people walk in your life for a short period, and leave just as suddenly as they appeared. But they have a more lasting effect on you. They leave vivid memories, and strong influences. It maybe only a sentence they may have said nonchantly, or an advice given wisely. But it seems to pop up at the right times. They can be anyone. A person sitting next to you on a long flight, or a long-lost friend at lunch. It could be a random person you met in an online chat room, or a person on the road. What they say or do, may completely alter your way of thinking, and what you believe in. And you wish you would have known that person longer.


Some people dont even know you exist, and you still learn something from them. They can be part of a true story told by a friend, or a person you see at a carnival. Actions are better than words. And their actions may have affected you in a good or bad way.


Some people are also known as role models. Humans you look upto. Every person needs someone they have to have as a manual. When you're at a point in life where its impossible to step further, the person you look upto always helps you through. Even if its just a thought of that person in the situtaion, or the urge to be like him/her.


They say a soul becomes wiser with time. Its the eyes that interprets everything as right or wrong. And your heart senses if what you found is what you need. People are just means of finding your own self. So never regret meeting someone. or dwell over the question 'why me?'. Because you never know how far they may take you.

Princess Diaries : 6 - Long lost memories

Dear diary,

So this trip is almost at its end. Why do all good things end in a blink of an eye while the bad drags on forever? Dont you sometimes wish you could just stop time right there and then, so as not to face what you have to eventually? Even better, dont you wish the time machine was invented already? Just turn the pointer to 3 weeks ahead and Voila! you're back to where you started. Where are all white-haired Newton wannabes when you need them most? Uff.

I sit and reminisence the past few most wonderful weeks of my life. Between all the trips to dubai and elsewhere, laughing like maniacs on the stupidest jokes when high and shopping madly at the sales like wild shopoholics, the part to most cherish was meeting up with old friends, who once used to be a significant part of your life sometime earlier. People you've lost touch with for years. Although it was a nice experience in its own, a startling realization struck me. Some had changed while others were the exact same. How is that possible? Doesnt life and its experiences always alter your personalities into either good or bad? But then how'd i miss out on such important parts of those people that were the closest to me? So close, and yet so far. Those thoughts that i can relate to so clearly. Its like i had been living blindly all this time, looking for something elsewhere when all the time it was staring me in the face. How, dear diary, could i be so dense? I never believed in judging the book by its cover. And that is exactly what i did all that time ago. But i guess im being given a second chance, and this time i wont let go.

And that is exactly what you need in life, dear diary. A heart that beats in the same rhythm as yours, a brain that works at the same frequency as yours. A face to fantasize about, to relive the moments with a different set of beliefs now. Sometimes, the heartless carefree perverts of the world may turn out to be your bestest friends.*smile*

Heart on Lyrics - Tujhe Bhula Diya (Anjaana Anjaani)

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Tu sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Rove palkan de Kone vich neend meri

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Hanju digde ne chot lage dil te

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Rut birha de badlan di chhaa gayi

Kaali kaali khaali raaton se

Hone lagi hai dosti

khoya khoya in raahon mein

Ab mera kuch bhi nahi

Har pal her lamha, main kaise sehta hoon

Har pal her lamha main khud se yeh kehta rehta hoon

Tujhe bhula diya, oh,

Tujhe bhula diya, oh

Tujhe bhula diya, oh

Phir kyun teri yaadon ne

Mujhe rula diya.. ohMujhe rula diya .

Teri yaadon mein likhte jo lafz dete hai sunaai

beete lamhe poochhte hain kyun hue aise juda..khuda,

Khuda mila jo yeh faisla hain

Khuda tera hi yeh faisla hain

Khuda hona tha woh ho gaya

Jo tune thha likha

Tujhe bhula diya, oh,

Tujhe bhula diya, oh

Tujhe bhula diya, oh

Phir kyun teri yaadon ne

Mujhe rula diya..

Mujhe rula diya .

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Tu sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Rut birha de badlan di chhaa gay

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Tu sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye

Naina Laggeyan Baarsihan

Rut birha de badlan di chhaa gay

Do pal tujh se juda thha,

Aise phir rasta muda thha,

Tujh se main khone laga,

Juda jaise hone laga,

Mujh se kuch mera

Tu hi mera liye abb kr dua,

Tu hi is dard se kar de juda,

Tera hoke tera jo main na raha,

Main yeh khud se kehta hoon,

Tujhe bhula diya, oh,

Tujhe bhula diya, oh

Tujhe bhula diya, oh

Phir kyun teri yaadon ne

Mujhe rula diya.

It's too late...

As the silence of the night engulfs me in yet another blanket of lonliness,

i sit quitely looking far away to the lands beyond.

How that dreaded feeling sinks in deeper and deeper,

till long forgotten memories are lit up once again.

Memories of happiness, of hope and true love,

Of what was once believed to be forever.

Oh! why cant time turn itself back,

to change those haste decisions that were thrown with emotions.

To feel the innocence of youth and to yearn for you again.

To live those precious moments once again.

But pity how i still desire you,

even with these uncountable minutes that held us apart.

The vast distances and unbreakable barriers,

the pages of time that has turned with life.

Maybe we are so far apart, thats its impossible to ever turn back.

Maybe the memories have faded into the midnight mist.

Maybe...its just too late.

Princess Diaries : 5 - Matters of a confused heart

Dear Diary,

Just landed home after a short trip back from Hyderabad. Two words, hell again. After taking a long breath of relief and thanking god for getting me home before i actually scattered my brains there, i turn on my beloved laptop. Oh! How i missed it, my sole partner through times of lonliness and sadness. Felt bad for deserting it so suddenly. But its the only thing that would stand by no matter what. This silver & black HP branded, running-on-electricity piece of metal is probably my only support thats keeping me sane in this city of chaotic madness. I love you to bits my baby. Keep alive till i breathe! *Muah*

Ok ok, so ill stop the mushy gushy and sentimentals now. Back to what i was saying before i lost track and started singing the lappy love song. Yup, turned on laptop, checked FB (Crap boring!), checked Blog (no additon to the number of followers, like i said they all hate me), checked hotmail (Scrreeeeeeeccchhhhh!). Wow. I mean seriously. Some emails really make you all happy. I mean there are people out there who actually care. So while listening to a remix which kinda destroyed a beautiful song, i went through them. Simply Gorgeous. Made my effing day! And then i realised, that maybe (emphasis on maybe) a laptop is not the only thing that stands by you through thick and thin. Maybe im expecting too much, but sometimes it actually feels nice to sometimes let go and believe. To stop being too cautios and let your heart work on its own will. Although it is kinda obvious that that organ is THE one that will get you in deep trouble and destroy your life, but sometimes you just have to trust it. And Just when im having those yummy thoughts, my brain takes over the whole romantic ordeal. and my heart scutters back to where it was trapped just seconds ago. Coward *sigh*

So then i think, back to gossip girl it is. A big packet of mnms and the start of Season 3 is exactly what i need to calm my brain down. Prevent an uncontrollable war that is brewing unavoidably in the air. The brain-heart war that im so used to now. Logic or dream come true? With emotions and tears involved, it can be nothing less than a nuclear war! How about we not repeat history right now and just go back to boggling over Chuck Bass and scheming with Blair Waldorf. Buh byes.

Heart on Lyrics - Somebody's Me (Enrique Iglesias)

You, do you remember me?

like I remember you?

Do you spend your life going back in your mind to that time?

Cause I,

I walk the streets alone

I hate being on my own

And everyone can see that I really fell

And I'm going through hell

Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you,

somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe,

without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me,

that somebody's me, yeah

How, how did we go wrong?

It was so good and now its gone

And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross

And what we hide isn't lost?

Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you,

somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe,

without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, oh, yeah

You will always be in my life even if I'm not in your life?

Cause you're in my memory

You, will you remember me?

And before you set me free, oh, listen please

Somebody wants you,

somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe,

without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that someday you will see

Somebody's me, that somebody's me

That somebody's me, that somebody's me, oh, yeah

Can we pretend...?

Can we? Can we really pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? 'Cause GOD help me i could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now!).



Wonder what Hayley Williams was thinking when she sang those lyrics so beautifully, made it sound like the most wistful wish ever. I mean really, that is so not something that you can blurt out in a normal conversation with your dad over dinner;


"So daughter, how was school today?"

"Full of chaos as usual, but i do have a killer test tomorrow. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?"

"ummm...is ur brain functioning alright dear?"


See what i mean? It does take talent to turn stupidity into pure romance. And that is exactly why we have artists who work wonders for us. WE have Fashion designers who turn scarps of threads into gorgeous attires that turn ugly ducklings into graceful swans. Directors who make passing events sound like interesting stories to be told forever. Painters that combine all shades of colors to give breathtaking paintings.



And Then we have photographers. Those illusionists that find unbelievable beauty in the most plainest of things and turn ugly eyesores of daily life into showstopping wonders. Did i say im in love with one of many? I would call them sorcerers if they hadnt had been named already, and their tools...their magic wands! Those that they click away rentlessly at objects. "Everything has beauty...you just have to find it." And God how they find it. I could go through those magic spells all day long, the moon on those nights, the picturesque sunset on that eventful day. How those pictures bring out emotions hidden deep inside. Those eyes...so happy, as one looks out the window smiling at the gorgeous, bright day and its happenings. It makes your insides churn for more, but then you always learn when to stop giving when its all in vain. Sometimes the path just ends suddenly at the edge of the cliff, and instead of taking that huge leap into the unknown realms below, you just turn back to go to where u came from. in deafeat.


But hey, we do have the rest of our lives to mess up. Who says life wont take twists and turns again? And you never know what the future might throw at you. Along with lemons and eggs, there might be something feminine too. And before you know it...the past will be past. Nothing more.


So Hayley, lets hope your method of getting a wish heard actually works. 'Cuz if it doesnt, there will be alot of dissapointed fans around. And a lot of airplanes that might be stoned down. *winks*

Late Saturday night thoughts.

So...i decide to bounce back after the longest break ever. I know ive done injustice to this blog page and the threadbare counted number of bloggers actually following me (people just dont love me...buahahaha!). The reason for my dissapearing act? Dont ask.




Saturday night...Party timmeeee!! Heard that often? I bet you have. Because saturday night is the night to waste away carefree before shouldering your responsibilities back on monday. The night when every party goes on till the wee hours in the morning. When people live for the present forgetting they had a yesterday, or a tomorrow. It may be a 'cafe' party, or a 'crash the house' party! Whatever it is, i bet its full of laughter and fun fun fun! Do i sound like im all lonely and depressed and craving for some attention? Ugh...yes i admit i am all lonely and depressed and craving for SOME attention tonight.




How does one spend a saturday night all by themselves? Depending on gossip girl to save me from the deep dark dungeons of boredom again would be taking advantage. How about some living/breathing human to party the night with? Now now I know what you're thinking and Yes i do have friends. I dont believe in being the isolated entity around here. Unfortunately My BFF decides to move back to AD paradise without me, blowing an immense damage to my social life here (But ill be following soon, dont worry Z!). Who wud want to watch a movie all alone anyways, when you have no one to b**** about the actress or drool over the actor with. So im left with nothing to do but to note down my feelings on this digital piece of paper. And that im doing.

But not without the hope that next saturday night...might be one of the memorable nights to store away in my book of unforgettable moments. Preferrably with you...

XOXO

What a woman wants.

That is one question that every guy asks at one time or the other in his life. Some are still asking at the age of 50. What does a woman really want? Why is she not satisfied with the things i do for her? Let me tell you the sad truth of life...and women. Everything is NEVER enough. You just have to do the best you can. Play by the rules. The rules that were created by the women themselves. *smile*

But after coming face to face with enough frustrated and heartbroken guys, i decided to write a few tips to help them out. If you have a girl you wanna keep happy, then just learn and follow:

1. Your girl would always expect you to do nothing short then worship her. Not literally afcourse. Just make sure she knows that your world revolves around her and her only, and she is the center of your adoration.

2. Compliment her on everything possible. New clothes, new accessories, her style, her taste, the way she walks, her eyes, her voice....even her hair color. Dont be direct or cheesy. Make it sound classy and romantic. You can rack up a lot of points in that department if you do it right.



3. Pretend that ur girl is the one that you would love to get your hands on (If you havent already!). Afcourse dont go attacking her or stare shamelessly, just keep giving her the `ýou're the most delicious apple in the lot` look and you got your point across.

4. Gifts. Ah...thats the hardest part. And it uses up a lot of time, money and mental space. If early in a relationship, she would like cute things, like fluffy teddy bears with messages or little keychains. A matured relationship would require gifts to be more worthful, like flowers, perfumes, clothing (sexy ones please) or just take her out for a candle light dinner.

5. NEVER talk good about your girl's rival. You'd rather walk barefoot on burning coals than do that. Two girls that dont get along well are the most dangerous thing u can get into. So just stay out of it and keep yourself sane.

6. Relating to the previous point, never compare your girl to another girl, if the other one is better in any factor. Getting your girl insecure about herself is not a good thing again.



7. Make sure u call her up or text her once a day at least. Let her know that she is on your mind a lot. A good night and a good morning msgs always help with that.

8. Always dress up good yourself. Have a good cologne on, dont slouch and preferably wear branded stuff. She would love to show you off to her friends and others and you would make her proud to be hers.

9. Be romantic! Dont ask how. You have books, movies, internet. Get your ideas anywhere and everywhere. But dont overdo it. Too much sweet gives you diabetes.

10. Friendship with ex-girlfriends? A big NO NO. Dont ever think you can get along well with ur ex or expect your girl to accept that. And never expect her to be friends with ur ex. A realtionship gone haywire is just finito.

11. Introduce her to your friends and let her get friendly with them. It would allow her to get to know you better and to understand that you really care for her. Act proud of your girl in front of your pals. Nuthin like that to get her more comfortable with you.

So...my confused guy friends, its all in your hands as to how you take care of ur girl. Play with her right...and you got yourself a beauty at hand.

One thing that i was wondering while writing this blog was “What a man wants.”
But...I guess everyone knows the answer to that one. *wink* Dont they.

Princess Diaries : 4 - Sweet Summer

Dear diary,

Is it really going to end? Another summer gone already? Wasnt it just moments ago when Mom and dear sis showed up to change my boring minutes into unexpected fun? Only seconds ago when i got your first sms? But hey wait up time...i still got a whole lot of memories to replay in my mind.

Ah...the hopeless bowling skills, the photography capturing each and every action, the carefree laughing at the stupidest jokes. *Sigh* Life does have its good moments. I wish i could bring those hours back when we got high on almost nothing (ahem) and acted like druken idiots. Ok maybe not everyone of us did, but hey...you gotta admit we never did that when normal. Ok maybe we did. But one thing is for sure. The chemistry is still there! We have gone through some extreme highs and lows of moving to a chaotic city, seen life break and drown right in front of our eyes and had some icebreaking experiences with the people around us. But what held strong and brought us through was our friendship. And im proud to be friends with the worlds best gals. Hats off to us and our friendship! *applause*

And then we have some amazingly good friends to thank god for. Not good...The BFBF(s)! If it wasnt for you...I would be in the dredges of hell (umm...not quite...but worse!). Thankyou for making this summer so beautifully special and you really do mean a lot to me. *smiles*

Didnt someone once say a sister is a gals bestie? Ok...i made that up...but it IS true! All you people out there who doesnt have a sister and wants one bad....Hahaaaaa Tooo baddd! Cuz my sis rox the land! Thank you sis for 'bearing' whis one month with me, and for introducing me to 90210. Downloaded the rest of the episodes! *wink* love ya!

So yeah...life does have its good moments.

The effing emotion...Jealousy

Jealousy is what makes a womans world go round. Gone are the days when the gender of a new born child was determined by glancing at their genital region, now if the newly born baby gives a one-eyebrow-raised *why the f*** was i born in this hospital?!* look, you can definitely bring out the pink!



Females were filled with the need to be the best at every thing. Thus the competitive nature. We want prettier clothes, more expensive makeup, higher branded accessories, better looks, in all we want to be the centre of everyone's attention. And afcourse, we got the 'no sharing' rule here.

Weak, vulnerable women morge into superwomen with extra ordinary powers where competition is concerned. You can have a down-to-earth village girl turn herself into a supermodel where threats to her realtionship may be concerned.

So imagine yourself walking through a highschool corridor during lunch, convos as such will be commonly heard around female groups:


"Hey! 'sup?!""OMG did u see Sarah today...she had her hair streaked purple over the weekend..How totally gross! I bet that ugly
butt of her boyfriend hates it too...""Yeahh..dunno what he sees in her...prolly feels sorry for the sad little b****"


"Dude im so getting that LV bag we saw yesterday...Nell will freak out when she sees it!""OH and dont forget flaunting ur gorgeous nails too...that salon did the greatest job. The girls are gonna hit the
floor trying to figure where u got them from! Muahahahaaa*..."
(*laugh of a Prada devil a.k.a THE biatch)

Crossing a jealous woman is like crossing a very hungry tiger in a bunny costume. Very dangerous. My advice to you when you see a jealous woman is...STAY out of her way. Or you get burned.



So you think having two females share a husband and living together is normal? " Females understand each other better than males ever can and plus threesome is way better and sexier (Not exactly qouted)" ......ummm...to that i would say....PFFFTTTTTT! Who you kidding here!! hahahahahaaaa *rolls on the floor laughing till her guts spill*


Here are a couple of pointers to keep in mind before getting two Chicks living with you;
1. A woman never shares her man.Period.
2. Do not compare a woman to a better looking one in any way. Its called playing with fire. So when you have two women, its called automatic comparison...which is worse.
3. You can never give one woman enough attention. Two? God help you.
4. Life already throws enough problems at you to handle...why make more on purpose? live happy and easy.
5. Want to be unique? You'll die before the age of 40 trying to handle 2 gals. Not long to gain recognition.

All i wanna say is...jealousy is here to stay. *wink*

Nostalgia

I look out the window glass,
The dark heavy skies cry its tears of remorse once again.
Drenching the lonely souls with it,
washing away the recuperating sins in tiny riverlets.
Memories forgotten of a faraway land cloud my senses,
as I walk out into the pouring rain.
The heavens have finally let go,
the emotions raging out of them, tales of frustrated love.
I face the heaven's sadness,
Drops of mist sliding down my face, as i look up with my eyes closed.
Your touch, as you lightly caress my cheek with your fingertips,
leaving a trail of smouldering fire.
Your arms as you hold me tight,
Enveloping me in your comforting warmth.
A smile lightly tinges my cheekes, a blush creeping up.
I feel you so near, like a silent breeze whispering by.
The distances evaporate in a mist of yearning,
and the rain washes my tears with it...

Hope in love...

By the very saturation of life.

it sure seems a perception of a sigh,

yet it deepens,

like a mustering scar.

Starting from a dim line of hope that engraves the human pump of emotions,

as it tremors by its sudden beat which by social norms,

is just soo temporary, defies its own existense.

A true demise of fate, it sure is;

The human heart, the very organ to be containing all source of life we have...

by: M.B

A Trip to Hell

Few days back, we decided to ride over to some inner, lesser developed parts of the country a.k.a Hyderabad. We have our extended family living there, with there big, open houses and simplistic art of living. I must say i did have a bad feeling about this trip, must have been my sixth sense forseeing the coming torture.

So we set through early morning of a very hot day. The trip went smoothly, the car air conditioner cooling things down. And then...we arrived. None of us had the slightest idea how 2 days later we would be fleeing this place like hounds of hell at our feet. As the car slowed to a stop, there was no human in sight. There could very well be hairballs rolling up the dusty streets and skulls of begotten trespassers rotting in the blistering heat. A ghost town. The first signs of warning.

The day went smoothly, bearable. Reunion of family members and happy chatting always makes up for the little hardships. Night comes, and i finally tumble into bed exhausted. As i close my eyes, i smile at the days events and thank god for the rumbling air conditioner.

3 hours later..

I cant breath. There is no oxygen. I'm suffocating. and why is it so f****** hot?!

I tear open my eyes, sleep clouding my brain. Fan not working. A.C. not working. Not a whiff of air moving. I get up and blindingly flip the switches while trying to get some oxygen into my brain. Nuthing moves. Thats when it dawned on me...there was no electricity! We were victims of loadshedding. I go out and hope for a nice cool wind to clear up my mind, but as i open the door, im smacked in the face with humidity and blistering heat. Wonderful. So i roam from room to room, like an agitated ghost, wondering how on earth can there be no wind at all. I cuss out the government for taking what is rightfully ours. And i wait for the A.C. to start up again, so i can get back to my beauty sleep.

6 hours later...

Im still waiting. Sleep deprived and dehydrated, im drained of energy. Temperature must have soared upto 50 degrees . I walk into the washroom to drench myself in the cool water. Turn on the tap and...nuthin comes out. Oh great. No electricity, no motors running, no *sniff* water. By now the very shining sun had heated everything up, from the floor tiles to drinking water. So you walk on fire and drink molten liquid. So drenched in sweat, i wait for events to turn around (a complete u-turn would be very appreciated).

2 hours later...

Finally we get some electricity just in time for the Pak/Indi cricket match. If you dont know, this match is the most awaited one by every paki/indian. All doozy from the days previous events, i couldnt even give one cheer-on shout for the team, not like it would have affected them anyways. They lost the most un-fu**in-believable way! Another candy to add to the already amazing day. Time was dragging by. Between all the trying times, karing discussions and caught ons, night finally came. My eyelids felt like sand paper. I dropped into bed...only to be awakened few hours later again. OMFG!

Next day...

I pack like a maniac. And before anyone could say anything about staying another minute, i rush out of there like a hurricane. Buh bye Hyderabad. Hope to never see you again. At least not in summer.

Phew.

Princess Diaries : 3 - Drooping Rose

Dear diary,

Life has thrown another spin ball at me, but this time i struck out. Yup dear diary, it smashed the stumps clear off. I thought i could hit a sixer, but...i misjudged. So apparently im going through one of the lowest moments in my life. All i want to do is hit the comfy couch with a huge bucket of ice cream and some sad love stories to cry on. My mind is on stand by right now. So numb. I dont want to think dear diary...cuz i know its going to kill me.

So then what do i do? I've always believed in being patient. Wait for the storm to pass. If you stand in its way trying to stop it, it will just destroy you along with everything else. And when everything is quite once again, look around you. Yes, all you might see is destruction and pain, but look above you. Look at the clear sky. Look at how calm it is. How blue it is. And that is when you pick up little pieces of ur broken house and build it once again into a more stronger house. One that can this time, stand through another storm.

So i wait.

And i dont think. But how do you stop memories from surfacing day and night? How do you fill up that empitness inside you? How do you expect a rose to survive without oxygen? A rose that has lost its vibrance, the petals dropping so low it has no life left. Dear diary, crazy is the word here...but i have to add belief to it now. Dreams can be turned to reality. Isnt that how the world goes round? Every night while i sway outside to the music of the breeze, i look up and search the dark, lonely sky. And i see the moon. Pure as pearl always. And then i wonder if it can read my thoughts being so far away?

"Can we pretend airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars...i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now..."

Midnight mist

The heart beats yonder with words so divine,

in the darkness...when all is quite,

when the devils are at rest...when the frantic waves are calmed,

a mist falls gently...swaying to the soft breeze,

that is when...in far away lands,

two lonely souls yearn...there thoughts as one,

roses bloom...

the soft petals enriched with the fragrance...

of love incomplete,

and as the eyes drift with dreams way beyond,

a star breaks free in the heavens above...

...for them to wish on...

What do we have here, Watson?

Sherlock homes. What made him a legendary detective? One word. Curiosity.


Now you ask, what is this curiosity? The way i would define it is, curiosity is one's impatience to find information not intended to be known at the moment using a faster way (sneaking!). Yup, thats where all the 'whispering juicy gossips', 'letting out hot secrets' and 'evesdropping' come in.

Why are people curious? Many answers to that:

1. gives them power over the person they found information about.

2. satisfies the insanitable 'want to know' inside them.

3. or got nothing better to do.

So i had a conversation with this friend today which actually made me wonder about the levels of curiosity in me. Went something like this.

Friend "Salam!" (a devoted muslim)

Me "Hi!"

*yak yak yak*

friend: "Btw..i have a surprise for you."

*sit up straighter*

me: "A surprise?! What surprise?!"

"Well...it wouldnt really be a surprise if i tell you, dont worry ull know later tonight."

"I wonder what it could be."

"You'll love it...just something crazy i guess."

"REally?!"

"Yup. Ok ill let on one thing. It has to do with white...

*curiosity level hits a higher note*

...and water."

*BONG!*

"O my Gosh...no wayyyy!" ( in case if you dont know already, those are 2 of my favorite words)

*a picture with white half open shirts and blue beaches with sexy poses pops up*

"ummm..."

"What do you think it could be?"

"I dont think you want to know."

"OK...well keep guessing then"

"he he"

And i kept guessing. While working, while eating, while talking, while writing...even while trying to sleep.

I would say im not really a very curious person (ive got eons of patience in me, call me 'da ice cube'), but when it comes to certain things that i absolutely love, there is no telling what measures i would go to find out.

BUT in the end...it was all worth it. *smile*

Thorns

The world has mere uttered, the insignificance of silence...

To ever ponder, the confusion...

The Tremors, that lead to obstruction of one`s thought...

I wonder, how it all glooms, with the sudden flapping of hope...

As a mere bird, trying to defy gravity...

But asunder, the roses are filled with thorns...

Though to protect the beauty by far arrogant they are...

By M.B

25 things that makes me Aruba...

While romping around Facebook the other day, a tagged page caught my eye;

"Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a post with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you."

Inte-rrressss-tingggg...i think. Perfect way to find out what makes me...well...me! Here goes...


1. I am a perfectionist. Yup, wanting perfect is my middle name.

2. I love reading. I read novels, fiction or non- fiction, newpapers, magazines, pamphlets, instruction manuals, signboards, anything and everything that is written in english. I'd much rather read the whole day than utter a single word (afcourse i would take immediate action if there is danger of turning into a mime!).

3. My 'work your ass off till you acheive it' goal in life (till A-Levels) was to be a doctor.

4. I can be very possessive about people i love. I expect them to love no one more than me. Though this quality of mine can be a nuisance most of the time, it does make me want to be better and better.

5. My all-time favorite movie is Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (indian). I can repeat most of the dialogues from the movie and the end always makes me cry. OK, yes i hear you snickering inside, and thinking *LMFAO!*, but every living human has that gay fact of life that brings him a notch down from 'da koolest kid on da block'!

6. Fashion is my Passion. My second goal in life was(and still is) to be one of the greatest fashion designers ever.

7. My favorite color is white.

8. I am a hopeless romantic. So, yes i believe love stories and happy endings do exist. I dream about gazing in each other's eyes for hours on end and dancing the night away in each other's arms.*sigh*

9. Spice girls were my gurus when i was younger. I still have a big box of all their labelled merchandise, ranging from caps and tshirts to postcards and tiny little figurines, stored somewhere in my closet.

10. I am a clean freak. Messy rooms, dirt and foul smell freak me out.

11. Best time of my day is the 'ME-time", when its only me and myself.

12. My favorite cuisine is Labenese. I can gorge on delicious stuffed vine leaves and humus all day long. Not to forget those scrumptious shawarmas stuffed with pickles. YUM*stomach growls*

13. I am religious.

14. I spent better part of my life (21 yrs!) in Abudhabi, U.A.E. That little island holds endless memories of my childhood and school days. An absolute paradise with its huge malls, white beaches, and luxurious sheesha cafes.

15. A sexy pair of strappy black stilettos are a girl's best friend. I am shoe-crazy!

16. I excel in daydreaming.

17. My idea of a romantic dinner date would be a posh resturant (indoor or outdoor) with ethnic buffet and ghazals all night long.

18. I perform concerts everday. in the shower.

19. I dont have any phobias.

20. I was a nerd back in school. I used to study for 10 hours straight (Yup, shcoks me when i think about it too). Though i didnt wear huge black telescopes (as espected) and was more than better looking, and quite social as well, so was not called one.

21. I truly love my parents. I loathe people who mistreat their parents.

22. I have bungee jumped. Plan to sky dive next. jk. not.

23. Squash. I love that sport. Matches against dad every weekend. Me > the next jehangir khan! *applause*

24. I hate liars. They occupy the lowest space in my list of bad people. Afcourse avoiding facts is not lying and still acceptable.

25. I love travelling around the world. Have been to a number of countries and cities, thanks to my adventure-loving parents.

Princess Diaries : 2 - Raging Storms and Sweet Revelations

Dear Diary,

Yup, Karachi is once again a full on target for an oncoming disaster, this time in the form of an angry angry cyclone called Phet. I must say life is exciting here. What with all the natural disasters, terrorist killings, kidnappings, and lets not forget, the scorching heat, it couldnt get anymore fascinating. Uff! *rolls eyes*. I do still remember (and miss) those carefree days back in Abu Dhabi when the most exciting thing in life was a new crazy flavour at BR (Mango Tango?!) or an exciting airshow at the beach. Lets see how this crumbling city holds up and survives yet another furious storm. *fingers crossed*

So dear diary, How exactly does it feel when you finally hear something you've been waiting a long time for? Elated? Uncontainable happiness? Racing heartbeats? Ah...life is a much better place then. The flowers seem more cheerful, the birds more chirpier, even the dreary polluted air takes on a more romantic feeling. You turn into Cinderella the beauty, all you want to do is sing and dance in the rain with those cute little birds and the fluffy little chipmunks. You start living a magical fairy tale full of beautiful fantasies.*sigh*

Daydreaming has always been one of my weaknesses dear diary. I would be working with intense concentration when suddenly *poof* my mind may dissapear into a world unknown, full of 'riding away behind my knight in shining armor into the sunset's and 'happily ever after's. I go into a trance. What happens during that, is unknown. A war might break lose right beside me or gravity may finally lose its hold, i wouldnt know. But dear diary, somethings can only be brought close by dreaming, and by believing in them.

But really, what more can a person want?

Maybe a reality shock.

BZZZZZTTTTT!

Does it work? Nope.

Ah...the hold is strong, its blinding dear diary. And you know what...

I have lost control...

Advice of a wannabe fashionista - Summer Blooms

One thing i absolutely, crazingly adore to bits about Pakistani culture is its everchanging FASHION *bling bling*. And yes, it is my everlasting (dare to come true) dream to be THE best fashion designer ever! Though I do see it ending after a long, thorny pathway full of unbreakable hurdles, *rolls eyes* but then again, optimism screams 'Nothing is impossible dude!'...right? *wink*

So i find it my duty, as an aspiring and dedicated fashionista, to update you on the latest trendy threads, Whats hot and Whats not, and my personal advice as to what would make you the 'HAWTEST centre of attraction' of any kool partay!

Endless Lawns
Yup, the hot, steamy summers here cause all female attention to be diverted towards lawn, lawn and lawn. Unlike the older times, we now have a huge choice of designers, colorful prints, and range in prices when it comes to lawn. You have thousands of exhibitions everyday where they display gorgeous prints and eye-catching designs (very tempting they are!) One lawn exhibition that i make sure i attend every summer is Vaneeza's, never dissapointing. Oh and Gul Ahmed, I love thee so much!

Whats HOT and Whats NOT
HOT: Long shirts, extending well below the knees. Three fourth qulots. Longer sleeves. Bold Prints. Loose fitting. PURPLE! and light greys.

NOT: Short shirts. Shalwars. Pink (sick of that color!)

(Public Notice : These are all my personal advices!)

HAWTEST GETUP

Princess Diaries : 1 - Emotions of a distraught Princess

Dear Diary,

Yesterday i started with a new part of life. It is quite exciting and a wonderful learning experience i must say. Eons of hidden knowledge in this world and hardly time to uncover it all. I finally got a glimpse of how it all is 'behind the scenes'.

Even though I should be elated with happiness, something doesnt seem right. The colors have gone outta my life, all i see is blacks and whites. Its like im watching a boring video of my life going past my eyes. Everything has lost its charm. The flowers have lost their vigorious color and soothing fragrances, the trees dont sway merrily with the wind like they used to, even the tiny little fuzzy kittens and those chirping birds hold no interest for me. Why is it, dear diary, that life seems so empty now? That i feel so empty now?

The evenings used to be a fabulous time for me, when i would watch the world fall from bright cheerfulness to the mysterious darkness. I would absorb the bright colors around me and smile at the lovely world outside. And now all they consist of are broken memories and tears of a lonely soul. I gaze at nothing, staring away at spaces for hours, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts. All those happy laughter and teasing jokes seem so far away now, like a beautiful dream that was once. Maybe, it was never meant to be forever.

Yes dear diary, the truth is one big ugly monster, hiding in the darkness, and just when you least expect it, it jumps out at you and tears you to shreds. And the pain is unbearable, never ending.

But i have to survive it. I have to move on.

It just seems so impossible...

How do i move on?

So...How do you move on with life after you've had a crushing blow to your morality? Do you just pretend that nothing happened, pretend that block of life didnt exist, or do you cry those rivers of hurt till you are completely empty inside?

Sometimes i wish i could google my life's problems. Type in the question and BAM! you are bombarded with lists of options. Or maybe I should go looking for a book "10 steps to getting over a heartbreak".

But its not that easy is it?

You still have to go through that sad cycle of collecting tiny little pieces of your heart that has been carelessly flung away. Those tiny little memories that keep coming back to you every second of the day. The longing to rewind time and this time play it another way.

But could it have been different if played another way?

I doubt it.

Isnt it amazing how people look and yearn for love their whole life, yet they refuse to give love themselves. Is it so hard to give as easy it is to take? It does mystify me how people talk about the cruel society and its shortcomings, and then become one themselves. Is it so hard to be true to yourself? Why hide your feelings? Why pretend you understand everything when you dont?

Questions and questions...but no answers.
Someone did say once, the gist of which is 'You are born alone, you walk through life alone, and you die alone.' Then why do you yearn for companionship?

Sometimes...somethings are taken for granted. The value is only known when its taken away.

But, something positive is always gained from experiences in life. I learned to be stronger, a better person. 'Help like a rainfall.'

Afcourse...a heartache can really hurt...

A butterfly in the land of monsters

...a butterfly in the land of monsters...

how the different colors on his wings make him so different...so beautiful..

the way he reaches for the sky...the way he leaves a trail behind..

with so many flowers to chose from...he ignores the most colorful...the most fragrant..and lands on the sweetest..the sweetest nectar of all.....

and how is it that he understands...those words...yet unspoken..like he could see through to my heart...and understand the rhythm of my beats..

He calls it fate...is it fate?

but a true partner he is...and we travel through time together.....to far off places...lost in our dreams...

and with his words so divine...he brings a smile to my lips...everytime..

I stray from reality...and into his arms of happiness..

yes..im scared..very..

for he is so true..and real.