Spiritually purified?

So i return after one if the most moral-altering, head spinning trips ever. Its like i just landed on earth after a time spent on mars, without oxygen.

Reality has just hit me.

After a month of being so closely attached to divinity and issue-free days, feels kinda wierd to be pushed back into this stupid race of a life that we we seem to be chasing every single day.

Now problems seem minor, points of interest seem meaningless and people seem idiotic.

Its like everyone is missing out on the main point of existence, and running along without thinking or realising. Like hamsters on their spinning wheels. Going on and on and on.

And I know exactly what you're thinking. Has this girl changed tracks already? Has she become on of those? Has she finally lost her marbles?

No, No and No.

I am still the same old me, who would spend precious seconds on the smallest of thoughts and live life carelessly like a dangerous rollercoaster. But its like i have experienced a big chunk of life that i wouldnt want to let go. A part that i didnt know existed. Where money and time has no value. And only what matters is whether you have done justice by giving back as much as you were given in the first place? Or was it not enough?


A part of me still retains the feelings of complete mental freedom, that serenity in the mere thoughts. The peace that you have within yourself when you know that all the mistakes you ever made have been erased. How completely fulfilled you feel when you know you've got the attention that you always wanted. When every little wish is answered for. Its like a one-to-one with the most powerful force ever. Nothing compares.

Nothing.

This was a race to not earn as much money and fame as possible, but to reach a higher level of respect in the eyes of that one, in front of which we have to stand later on. Though this trip has had an amazing effect on my physical fitness (Thanks to prancing around the entire town on foot), it has mentally refined all those little thoughts that we seem to be having on the daily basis, letting us see the 'other side'.

I remember thinking during my second umrah as i walked along the long corridors, how do i describe on blog how i feel right now? What words do i put down? Guess there arent any perfect ones. Only the ones perceptive enough could sense emotions attached to moments like those. But why do i feel like i have lost that now? Why does the chemistry feel so...non-existent now?

The best part of this trip was that i had a lot of time to myself. To sort out my feelings, to understand the happenings around me. Why do people do what they do and why does everything seem so less of perfect? Why do we try to get what we cant have and throw away what we do? I thought and thought and thought.

And i finally figured it all out.

The glitch in all is that we are looking in the wrong places for the wrong needs. Its like looking for water in a desert and cactus on a beach. Totally hopeless.

But everyone has that moment in life when they realise this. You cant just walk upto someone and start explaining something only in ur mind. Let them hit the rough patch and figure it out themselves. Only will they then know that its not the world abusing them, but them themselves.
Satisfied with everything i did the past month, one question remains that I still ask myself. Have i been forgiven for the horrible mistakes i have made in the past? The people I hurt, the bad decisions I made? Have i been spiritually purified?

Some people...

What is life? Different people may answer this question in different ways depending on their beliefs. Some would say that life is a journey of religion, while others would call it a void in time. But i believe life is all about experiences. You mature in time with all the lessons learned as you excel at some points and make mistakes at others. And experiences always involve people. But not all people affect you in the same way, some may help you through to the right path, while others may leave a negative mark on you. So I categorized the types of people you come across;



Some people are there for life. You cant ever forget them no matter where in the world you are or however busy your life maybe. You may have met them very early in life, as a child, or later sometime. The fact that you may remember them maybe because you have a spent a good part of life living with them, or being close to them. Like childhood friends, parents and relatives. They usually dont ever influence you in a prominant kind of way. But you can always turn to them in times of need.


Some people walk in your life for a short period, and leave just as suddenly as they appeared. But they have a more lasting effect on you. They leave vivid memories, and strong influences. It maybe only a sentence they may have said nonchantly, or an advice given wisely. But it seems to pop up at the right times. They can be anyone. A person sitting next to you on a long flight, or a long-lost friend at lunch. It could be a random person you met in an online chat room, or a person on the road. What they say or do, may completely alter your way of thinking, and what you believe in. And you wish you would have known that person longer.


Some people dont even know you exist, and you still learn something from them. They can be part of a true story told by a friend, or a person you see at a carnival. Actions are better than words. And their actions may have affected you in a good or bad way.


Some people are also known as role models. Humans you look upto. Every person needs someone they have to have as a manual. When you're at a point in life where its impossible to step further, the person you look upto always helps you through. Even if its just a thought of that person in the situtaion, or the urge to be like him/her.


They say a soul becomes wiser with time. Its the eyes that interprets everything as right or wrong. And your heart senses if what you found is what you need. People are just means of finding your own self. So never regret meeting someone. or dwell over the question 'why me?'. Because you never know how far they may take you.