Heart on Lyrics - How to love (Lomaticc)

nananana..

(how to love)

nananana..

(how to love yeah)

So you're into all your books

and you play your part,

always good to your heart,

but you never figured out how to love..

nananana~

(how to love)

nananana~

(how to love, yeah)

you wish you had a moment

that you coulda last forever,

my specialty is puzzles

lemme put you back together how to love

nananana~

(how to love)

nananana~

(how to love, yeah)

what you doin' there quiet, girl,

pencil to the paper drawing islands, girl,

visioning escaping to a violet world

i'll take you there

smiling to your self i see thru your disguise,

whats with all these hearts without a name inside,

whats with all these hearts without a name inside

just put mine there.. oh oh cuz,

brrrrr bye-bye-bye-bye-bye who am i, hey

bad boy strumming on the guitar and on the mic, hey

i dont have a cape

but i can surely save your life, hey

baby lets do it right now...

singing,

CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT

i haven't see you frikkin' crack

a smile in a while hey

it's time for me to set things right

so you're into all your books

and you play your part

always good to your heart

but you never figured out how to love

nananana~

(how to love)

nananana~

(how to love, yeah)

you wish you had moment

that coulda last forever

my specialty is puzzles

lemme put you back together how to love

nananana~

(how to love)

nananana~

(how to love, yeah)

girl i know, (girl i know)

you are afraid (you are afraid),

but i dont care and i wont stop

until you realize what you mean to me

so let me have, just one more chance,

im no the man i used to be

used to be(how to love, yeah)

so you're into all your books

and you play your part,

always good to your heart,

but you never figured out how to love

nananana~

(how to love)

nananana~

(how to love, yeah)

you wish you had a moment

that coulda last forever

my specialty is puzzles

lemme put you back together how to love

nananana~

(how to love)

nananana~

(how to love, yeah)

Oh yeah

How to love...

Liar Liar

Daym! This is the first post that I have actually written directly on to the new post window, rather than bluetoothing the edited version from my Iphones notes. Does this mean I have grown more confidence towards my absolute no-shit-business writing? Or does it just mean I am so overflowing with hatred and strong emotions that i cant wait to hurl it all on my laptop screen? I would definitely go with the second.  So pull on your defending gloves and pad yourself up, this is going to be one tough ride down the emotional coaster lane.

Why are people allowed to lie? That is one thing i wish GOD wouldnt have given us the ability to do. Not only do people misuse that given ability to unbelievably idiotic extents, but they dont give a tiny little crap to what balance of nature they might be tilting to eternal destruction and who might be effing hurting because of their selfish intentions. Every single word out of their mouth is a lie starting from the first letter to the last. And after making you go through the entire cycle of committing the unforgivable deed, falling on the knees and begging for forgiveness and finally losing an important part of their life, do they stilll not fit in their teeny tiny brain as to how this cheap act of lying does not increase their machoness. On the contrare, you lose all those that really matter and give room for the uninvited creeps to meddle in to your life. The misunderstandings, the addictions, the lonliness. Its all your doing. DONOT blame it on karma.

   I remember the time when the saying 'A white lie leads to thousands more' actually stood firm its meaning for all. People stalled for atleast 2 seconds before departing with false information right into the faces of loved ones and where lives changed wrong tracks because of some made-up sentences was actually believed to be factual. Those two seconds showed a little humanity remained where a person would feel regret on decieving someone from reality and on how a low-life bastings they were being. But those times gone, truth no more holds any value for one anymore. Every single liar out there is incredibly near sighted to the disadvantages this deed holds for them. They think they can alter any part of one's life according to their wishes and engulf in the short-lived happiness like there is no tomorrow. They forget the most important. What goes around...comes around. And what comes around screws them for an effing lifetime.

  
So give it your best shot. Keep thinking you control this game of life. Because you dont. And the one who does, is watching you very very closely.

Watch your step liar...or you'll lose this game horribly.

Writers block

So i havent posted in a very long time. Couldnt get myself to a mini post either. Some wonder whether i have once again disappeared off the planet earth like i tend to sometimes, or just... partying nonstop. Let me assure you its none of them. Im officially down with a serious case of writers block.

When does it happen? WHY does it happen? And more importantly HOW does it have the ability to frustrate the heck out of ones brain?


Everyone has an outlet. Some scream, some rant, some cry and then there are some that simply write. Its seeing your feelings written down on paper in front of your very own eyes when you can really detangle the solution from a big mess of confusions and misunderstandings. Its like going high for few minutes and clearing your mind off of all crap to make space for more. In short, writing for me is just another form of meditating.


But it is true when they say that writing only comes to you when you have a turmoil of depressed thoughts running havoc up there. Happiness has a way of making you want to give up on the peaceful things and turn towards the more crazier stuff. Like getting out of your comfort zone and inviting thrills in. So it is usually during some very low times or after an exhausting argument that i project my thoughts onto the keyboard to raise my self-esteem.

But lately low times came and went. Literature inspirations came and went. A number of times i found my head swirling with words waiting to be written down, yet they stayed up there. Yes i could partly blame my broken-down Iphone a.k.a my soulmate for a big lack in my creativeness. It was a technologically advanced form of paper for me to record my thoughts on. Sadly it has left my side with a huge dent to my blogger's image. So I've tried replacing its sad memories with a newer version of itself, unfortunately for that Steve Jobs left us before i can get some news of my future rebound. Thus I'm stuck in this phase where im desperately in need for an outlet to help me with my outlet. Yes it sounds crazy to me too.


So i thought, why not work out my frustrations by actually writing them down. This is what i came up with. A nice blog onto how painfully brain crunching a writer's block can get and how to over come it. A very simple solution to a difficult question. By writing. Afcourse.


And this marks my 50th blog of midnight mist! Yay *fireworks*


Hats off to the inventer of laptops and the notepad application.

The Stars in your eyes

Illuminate my darkness,
brighten my nights,
dust my dark corners,
fill them with lights,
elevate my senses,
be my sunrise,
enliven my depths,
enlighten my skies,
shine light on my soul with the stars in your eyes...

- R

Shallow Happiness

Isn't it crazy how life changes massively in a matter of seconds? One second your soaring high in the sky, happy as you ever can be, and the next second your crashing back to earth, those white feathery wings just a passing dream.

Is it so bad to want to be just happy?

And how do you get it? Come experience, I had attained the perfect shade of happiness in a shape of a person. Everything seemed right. The grass was greener, the flowers brighter. The sun warmer and the birds merrier. The wind seemed to whisper words of laughter everywhere.

The rain was more than just drops of water expelled from an overloaded cloud, the sunsets a canvas for bright colors to be splashed on. Everything simply held immense beauty.

No, I wouldnt mention the dreaded word 'love' here. Nop. It was more of filling a big void, that had been empty for a long time now. Something that went unnoticed by many, and hidden away by tears.

A need unconciously rendering inside that one troublemaker organ. The Heart.

There is always a way of attaining perfection in life. Nothing is impossible. Strive for it and you get it. Perfect body, perfect social life, perfect house, perfect life. Then why doesn't it all satisfy one? Why doesn't a person sit back and think "Yes this is it. Im happy now."?

So yes, I was running after that mirage of a happiness. And then one day a realization struck me.

The base was all wrong. The pillars holding up that happiness for me was so not right, it was twisted. I had been holding on so tight that i never realised when the bottom had withered away.

Isnt it wierd how need can make you so blind?

Its like easing pain by taking drugs. Not by curing the problem. The wrong way.

So I came crashing down with no brakes. Hit the ground real hard. Broke some bones, a couple of scratches here and there. But worse, I had a shattered heart. A million pieces all strewn around glittering like little pieces of diamonds.

I looked at them a long time. My reflection looking back at me solemnly. And then I realised. What a fool I've been all along. Trying to grab mist when it was in my hand all along.

                                            

Happiness is not something that comes to you. Yes, it may seem perfect at that time. So perfect. But its not right. Happiness is what you attain from your surroundings, by keeping the people in your life happy.

Its not money that buys you happiness. Nor having that perfect white house with a poolside that you have always dreamed of. Not even being with that perfect handsome guy, the guy of your dreams.

Its being content with what you have.

Thats the untold secret to perfect life.

Dont cry over the fact that you have overprotective parents, be happy that they love you enough to care so much. Dont stress over the fact that you couldnt afford a dress for the party tonight, atleast you have a closet with clothes that 70% of the world doesnt. Dont hate your brother or sister, they may make your life hell but you have someone to share life with.

It's hard not to take for granted what you already have, and cry for more. Realise and value them.

The day you do that, is the day you become truly happy.

And that is what saves you from running after shallow happiness for the rest of your life.

Princess Diaries: 8 - A fall on trust

Dear Diary,

     Is it true that people may completely change during the course of time? That relationships may completely fall apart as their bases wither away? I always thought a person became wiser in understanding the complicated world around them as they stumbled through experiences. But do those experiences make a person more vulnerable and blind to what maybe needed of them?

There was a point in life when I was sure that if I ever decide to fall backwards unexpectedly, there would always be a pair of hands to catch me from falling. I trusted dear diary. But when life paralysed me once again and took away a large part of myself away with it, there was in real no one to hold me. And I fell to never recover back.

Is it my fault dear diary? Do I make the big mistake of trusting? I mean isn't that how the world works? You ave to have your trusting instincts intact in order to survive moving forward. Even if it's a just piece of paper you trust, or an assembled machinary, or a person, one that u might have known for years on. HOW DO YOU SURVIVE WITHOUT TRUST?

Yes, I went through the most horrible moments of my life. Yes, I needed a pair of hands to hold me up, for me to survive. But dear diary, I was left to die. If it wasn't for the angel in disguise, who never left my side, I could pretty much be resting in a morgue right now. It tears my heart to realize how heartless and materialistic the world has become. It's not about the people manipulating there ways into cream of social and business worlds, it's not even about being cheated out of cash and valuables, it's about losing those close ones whom you thought will walk with you till the very end. It's about them changing into the worse of themselves without realizing whom they hurt on the way.

So tell me dear diary, is it me or has it really become impossible to trust anyone at all?

The beacon of my night

(This verse was written for another time, for another moment. But for some memories, time stops forever.)

Night after night,
Time stretches infinity,
Seconds turn into centuries,
And eyes see beyond reality.
"Come and take me,
Before I fall apart."
Before life drowns in a void,
Before you fall for someone else.
"Listen to my heart",
A cry of despair,
A dreaded end,
A desperate prayer.
Look into my eyes,
A timeless story remains untold,
A love that survives all wrong,
And a fire of passion burns all emotions.
I live in fantasies,
I dream you close,
Hold my hand O' Darlin',
And never let go.
Cuz' you're the light of my days,
the mist of my moonlight,
The glow outside my dark thoughts,
The Beacon of my night...

A drop of silence

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 20; the twentieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Clouds overshadow
Raindrops trickle
Lonely road
Wet pavements
Estranged thoughts
Forgotten memories
Young blood
First crush
Eye chemistry
Skipped heartbeat
First date
A dance in the rain
Happy laughter
A moment in time
First kiss
A future promised
Late night calls
Early morning messages
Confession of love
A weekend together
Sudden ring
Unfortunate accident
A rainy day
Black funeral
Broken heart
Bland future
Loveless marriage
A dead life
Echo of laughter
A lonely tear...

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Credits

Image - Window Rain Drops by Eric Alder
Courtesy - http://www.deviantart.com/ via http://www.blogaton.in/

Soulless

"Friends have you only till they need you."

Someone very special said that to me once. But after being hit hard in the face a million times by destiny, I finally grasped the harsh reality. It's not only friends who squeeze you dry and then discard you without so much as a thought, it's every single person out there who you have ever shared oxygen with. That person may have been with you throughout a big part of your life or for a few countable but meaningful years.

Face it.

Everyone's gonna leave you out to rot once they've had what they want.

Thinking that, where does this leave us with trust? In other words, do you trust anyone who shows you heaven for a while, or pretends to give in to your wide-eyed innocence and falsely promises you forever?

The world has become a war zone for power and fame. The higher on the popularity ladder you are, the more number of minions you got. There is no more room left for pure happiness and good intentional acts for others. And those left with a heart big enough to care for one's happiness, gets trampled on mercilessly.

The world has advanced in technology immensely, creating false illusions with hands and legs. But they've gone way far ahead, and left emotions behind. Guilt and fairness are words thrown out of the dictionary of the new era. Humans have turned into robots. Heartless machines that pull others down in this ugly race of life, in order to get ahead.

Sad it is. Tears my heart to see people fighting for the materialistic world, unaware that they lose their sense of respect and dignity the higher they go. They fight to the last string of nerve, without realizing that they have no support left for when they need it most. When they are old and fragile. And when they are thrown away into homes for old by there own little creations who follow in there footsteps. Their motto is 'fight with your brain and not heart'.

But they forget that the world is not a gloomy race, but a harmony. Where giving happiness is how you receive contentment, and not by fighting. The more you care and respect for other's emotions and needs, the more you are satisfied with what you gain.

So no matter how many times they break you with their false words, get on your knees and stand stronger this time. Trust easier and live harder.

Cuz' in the end, the good guy always wins.

Another page in the Book of Love - 2

Continued from Part 1...

She loved helping her mum in the kitchen. A friendly bond seemed to form between them as they gossiped randomly and bustled around the brightly lit room, cutting and stirring. There was a time when she had misunderstood her, thinking mum wanted nothing more but to cage her in. But things have changed. She has changed. She had to give up a lot. A lot. Even him. Regret filled her and started suffocating her. She glanced up at her mum's carefree face as she laughed about the neighbour's dog. Just seeing her so happy bought oxygen back to her brains. And just as quickly the guilt vanished. Her mum was proud of her. Just the way she wanted. Nothing will come in between them now. Nothing. She won't let it.


                                                                ******************


He stared out the tiny window, far at a beautiful illusion the setting sun created. The soft clouds seemed to add a dramatic effect, bring out the translucent colors. Instead of appreciating the rare sight, his mind was thousands of miles away. He was thinking about her. How would she react on seeing him this time? After all that has changed between them? Would she be filled with joy, or walk away in despair? He desperately hoped it the former. After all, he was going for her only. The wedding was just an excuse. He sighed loudly, causing the passenger beside him to glance over and study his rigid frame in concern. It felt like the world weighed on his shoulders. He needed to relax. To look like he was going on a vacation and not to his death
order. Motioning the airhostess over, he ordered coffee. "and make it strong please." He checked his Seiko. Only one hour more to go.


                                                              ******************


She knew he was going to be at the wedding. Afterall, he did come for the wedding. She should feel calm and collected now. Everything was over. He was nothing more than an acquaintance now. That too if she wanted him to be. Suddenly her searching eyes were blocked by a huge blubbery frame of bright red and orange, covered in shiny jewels from head to toe. "Hello there beta! look at you. All grown up and pretty! We should get you hooked to a nice boy now." Afcourse. Desi aunties are worse than facebook at prying into your personal matters. The only reason they have been put on earth is to get 'pretty girls' married off to 'nice boys'. So much for searching for a purpose to life. Trying to look interested and pretending not to look for him, she checked out what lay in front of her. That is when she saw him, her eyes partly sheilded by her fringe. Sitting at a table not far away, looking in her direction intently. She couldn't read his expression or his eyes. But she could feel her ears go numb and her heart thundering like a drum gone mad. Nowhere near calm or collected. Shit.


                                                             *******************


There she was, beautiful as always. His heart rushed to his throat, and oxygen left his lungs for a minute. Haven't seen him yet. Dammit. Wish he could take her up in her arms and let the world know how he really felt. But his hands were tied. He was scared of losing her. He looked away. Fine, I'll play her game, if that's what she wants.


                                                              *******************


The digital clocked blinked at him. 3 a.m. It was late. He should be sleeping. But he couldn't. Specially when he could feel her in the room next to him. He needed her. And that drove him to smoke harder. He got out of bed.


                                                             *******************


He had her so close, yet so far. He was drunk on passion, on smoke. But his head was clear enough to know this was his last chance to know. He pulled her close, gently moving her hair to the side so he could read what she was hiding. "Dont!" But she remained where she was. He had to touch her, he needed her. Why couldn't she understand?! "Please..." She turned towards him and looked him straight in the eye. And for that tiniest of seconds he saw the hurt dripping off those delicate lashes. Then she knifed him with her words. "You have to stay away from me. I can't do this. I'm getting married soon." The floor dissapeared beneath his feet. He lost all senses. Time stopped. Blood left his brain. All he could see was her eyes and feel nothing.


He didn't remember walking out of the room.

                                                                                          To be continued...    

The inner demon

Do you have one? Not talking about the good-evil combo scrutinizing every single move of ours from the front seat view of our shoulders. But ever get the feeling that you've been completely possessed by that bad bad demon, which till now used to lurk in the tiny dark corners of your mind? That timid creature that was too scared of the huge positive ego that shined right through your face like sunshine on a bright summer day. All it needs is one gaurd let down and *BAM* It attacks! It attacks like a bitch and knocks you off you your feet.

Everyone has the downhills in there lives. Life is pretty much like a sine curve. There comes a peak of happiness, which then slopes downwards to intense depression, which then again slopes up to neutral. But sometimes life hits a dead straight line in the negative area (beeeeeeppp) that goes on and on and on, a never ending torture. At first you fight it, challenge the bad luck every step through the way. Bring it on you bad ass, I won't back down no matter what! And you fight and fight and fight, not realizing that it's wearing out your mental fortress horribly. And then finally, when ur weak enough, it gives the last powerful shock of all. And you drop to it's mercy. Begging to be let out of the misery. But really? Is it going to go that easy? Nooooooo. Not till it had taken you up in it's wrath, destroying every aspect of life, and whatever little happiness you have ever latched on to. It hits you with worse over worse, making you regret challenging it in the first place. It takes your friends, family, love and strips you off of every atom of positiveness you ever had in you. Till you drop spent at it's feet. The life taken out of you. Nothing left except a long list of people who hate you, and no one left to love you.


That's the point where you break down. The point in life where you finally lose it. You don't know where to turn, right or left, too scared to come face to face with this demon again. So you just shut down every emotion in your system and unplug your mental thoughts to move straight on. Take every blow in silence, and hope it ends sooner than it intends to.


The fear of being hated. They should have a name for that. Maybe one takes for granted when everone around you accepts you for no price  at all. Loves you for being so positive against the ugly backdrop of harsh reality. But isn't it ironic how the harsh reality rubs off on you and not you on it, the other way round? For a second there, you congratulate yourself for being a beacon of happiness in a lot of lives. And the next second they scorn you for existing. Sigh. One should never have the inner desire to bring happiness to others. It just turns around and hits you back square in the face like a well thrown boomerang. But could it be helped? Is it natural for a person to depend on other's happiness so much? If the world has become selfish, why does one care so much?

The frustration of keeping to perfectness overcomes, and instead of attaching everone to you in positive sockets, you end up giving them reasons to criticize you and snub you. So much for hiding the bad demon in you.


That which you hide, comes out sooner or later.

To Patriotism

‎”Though Afridi couldn’t win the world cup, for 30 days he made this country into a nation” – Ramiz Raja.

That is probably one of the greatest remarks by a still greater man. His commentary lead us through the season with so much hope and passion. And here he says in few words, what every Pakistani wants to say to the Team that bought a small speckle of life into this once dead country.

It looms in front of my eyes like only few hours ago. The mother of all matches played in Mohali. Pakistan vs India, semi-final of ICC 2011. It was all over the media, that being the understatement. Every living human being was talking about it, whether or not they were into cricket. The pressure was building, and hands were raised to pray for a much hoped-for victory. I knew people who prayed for it more then they had ever prayed in their lives. It was like everyone had forgetten their differences and negativities to cheer on the Team that would finally bring that beacon of happiness that was so needed. Those are the things that will forever remain etched in my mind.

To be honest, i never really knew what patriotism was all about. Born and raised in Abu Dhabi, I always wondered why people were so proud to be called a part of their country. The only thing that connected me to this country was the question "Where are you from?". No idea what it all meant to be a Pakistani. Never knew i had it in me. But now, its different. Having lived in Karachi for 4 years now, I understand the worth of freedom. And this years cricket season changed me.

WE lost. But we didnt lose heart. A couple of years ago i wouldnt have cared how far our team went. This time, i knew how much this country needed it. Right now, Pakistan is all about suicide bombings, shootings, poverty and bad government decisions. Every corner is filled with distressed Pakistanis fighting for justice, for freedom, for voice. Not just in the country, but every part of the world. This win could have bought a smile to their faces, to have them remember that yes there is more to life then struggling. This wasn't just a match, it was more than that!

So Hats off,
      to that Team that took us far beyong our expectations, beating the most toughest of players on the scene,
      to the best captain that we have had in our history of amazing captains, Shahid Afridi your humbleness and true nature wins us all,
      and to the one country that set aside their differences to become one heart, one soul, one nation.

To Pakistan, we breathe by you.

Another page in the Book of Love - 1

The darkness had settled in by now. Silence was as thick as mist in the air. She looked him straight in the eye and whispered "Promise me you'll never love anyone the way you have loved me." He paused before answering back, silenced by the intense desperation in her voice, the truth that shone in her eyes. A rare second. It seemed a decade passed as he wished this moment would never end. "I promise I can't love anyone like I have loved you."

And his life changed forever.

                                                             **********

The car was going really fast now. But she hardly noticed. She couldnt take her eyes off the full moon that shone so bright tonight, overshadowing the tiny stars. They say it is the closest to earth after 20 years. Was he watching it too? What was he thinking?  Damn! She dragged her eyes away from the sky and tried focusing on reading the ugly, meaningless signs that passed her in a blur. Anything to take her mind of him. Time heals wounds. Pfft! Whoever said that, didn't own a watch.


Getting home, she dropped into bed without so much as bothering to kick her shoes off. What was wrong with her? Everything was as perfect as can be, but he still lingered in those dark corners of her mind. Sneaking out on her every few minutes. Repeating the so called memories. This time it was war! Cruel as it may seem, she will kill the heart for good now. No use bringing the past up. Not now. Not when everything is perfect.

                                                                 ***********

She was was high on smoke and music. It felt like the hiphop beats reverbrating through the room were in perfect sync with her hearbeat. Was her heart even beating? She couldn't feel it anymore. To think about it, there is hardly much she could feel right now, except this growing frustration that gnawed on her insides. Why was he so nervous? He seemed to be fidgeting with something in his bag. "I have to ask you something." Dazed with all the excess smoke that seemed to cloud her senses, she felt herself nod. Everything was going in slow motion. He bought out a small red velvet box and she knew what it was before he even opened it. Horror pooled in her stomach as her throat went dry. It felt like someone had just dumped acid down it.

He had been serious all along.

                                                                     ***********

She jumped in fright. Sweating crazily and dead cold at the same time. What the hell happened here? Why was it so dark? Where was she? She groped frantically around to get hold on anything. Her fringe was stuck like seaweed to her forehead, and thorned into her eyes. Swiping at it, she rubbed her eyes to open them wider. Finally her pupils adjusted to the dark. She was in her room. She had fallen asleep while thinking. Someone had turned off the lights and turned the air conditioner to the lowest temperature possible. 4:18 a.m. Damn those memories! I should be used to this by now. Thinking that she got up to pour some water down her parched throat. Suddenly she stopped. Was it still there? She looked down at her finger, half expecting the diamonds to glint back cheerfully at her. It was empty. Sadness washed over her like a tide and she felt tears stinging her eyes. Its over. But those words still didn't take away the pain that squeezed her heart every so often.

                                                                     ************

Months had passed since he had last seen her. "We can't be the same anymore. I have to stop talking to you. My parents are too old-fashioned for this." It still echoed in his ears. Like that forbidden day when he got her email. He hadn't believed it then, and he didn't believe it now. She hasn't talked to him since. He had been blocked off of every channel of communication he had with her. She knew he had meant every word he promised her, then what was she punishing him for?! He flipped through her pictures that were now engraved on his mind. Her smile. That is what he had fallen for. She will come back to me. She has to. A lone tear traced it's way down his cheek. He looked over to his almost filled bags. Or I will.

To be continued... 

Colour me Beautiful.

Ever thought how the world would be without colors? If everything was either only black or white.

No cheerful yellows and pinks to brighten your day. Or bold reds or blues to define your mood. And no purples and greens to look sexy in.

Only black. Or white.

Totally depressing.

Life would completely lose it's charm.

If people are so depressed in a beautiful world like this, a colorless one would be overfilled with phsycopaths.

I can imagine it like a vision from tomorrow. Dead trees, dead sky, dead land. Vampires slomping around everwhere, trying to get their veiny, crooked hands on anything breathing to suck blood out of (isn't that what they do?). Dusty air with a stink in the air. A living example of darwins theory in action. Ew! *shudder*

So maybe my imagination ran away a bit up there, but think about it!

How can you only have clothes that are shades of grey, black or white?? How can you ever attempt to grab ur guys attention if you can't have a more attention-grabbing color?? So you just stand there helpless in ur boring black baby doll frock while the long legged beauty whisks him away in her white body hugger (with her perfect body)?!

Life would pretty much suck if choosing ur underwear would only be from black or white, or if ur food would be in shades of gray. Imagine a pizza in shades of black. Kills the appetite immediately.

But in real...we have those lovely colors all around us!

In those pretty little flowers that seem to dot every corner and bit of the country, some coloured pink, some violet.

And we have the beautiful palms trees that are so green, they take your stress-of-life away with every swish of their long leafy branches.

And we have the lovely blue water that ripples as the white swans glide Oh so gracefully through it.

The bright, yellow sun that gives breathtaking sunsets as it changes colors to gorgeous shades of orange and red.

In short, color the world beautiful! :)

Antique fuchsia? Granny Smith Apple? Stizza? Nop. Not brands of shoes or name of things you might on grocery shelves. Just fancy ways of naming colors with different mixtures of shades. Something that you would come across in a book of paint colors, or fabrics.

Hit me with those fancy names anytime.

I would love a silk coloured Jazzberry Jam, or a Lazer lemon Roll-up to savour on.

To be honest, I don't even know why I wrote a post on colors. But what i do know is I've always appreciated colors in life. The different hues we see around us all the time.

They just add this wild fascination to my hunger of adventure.

Short mindbits (March)

March 12, 12:33 a.m.

" Lately I've been getting everyone pissed at me. Every word I form with my lips seem to have a negative effect. To irritate the living cell out of him. I unintentionally seem to burst this disgustingly gay bubbles that people seem to be living in constantly. Where they believe that life is all about driving down a perfect blue beach in their sexy little cars watching the gorgeous sunset as it fades away. Is it really me? This almost dead, confused person who walks around lost in memories? Almost like I'm back in time with you."

March 12, 6:47 p.m.

"It's a beautiful day out here. I especially love how the innocent breeze can make everything sway to it's rhythm. Almost like it has everything in it's power. Like it gives life to the non living. Giving them an invisible hand to move to this beat of time. How the spring flowers shimmer in their beauty as their soft petals flutter lightly.
But what scares is how the dark slowly sets in. Almost like it creeps in to your world secretly shunning the light out. I don't want the light to go. It then takes away your capacity to see the bright cheerfulness of the day. But god promises something. That light will be back in your life soon enough. Soon enough. "

March 13, 11:39 a.m.

"There comes a point in life when it becomes hard to believe that a person can detach from you. Although it is a possible thing, the bond is so strong that it's impossible to even consider such a thought. The friendship is taken for granted. But then it happens. And your world falls apart."

March 14, 6:28 p.m   

" How is it possible to live life just to please someone? Every goal in life is altered just for their sake. Every breath u take is about winning a piece of their heart. Every little step is to make their dreams come true. And even then one tends to be unthankful. When they cry the cry of being alone. Don't they know that someone's world revolves around the number of times they smile?

There are examples of really nice people out there who hand their hearts out to that person on no conditions whatsoever. And then their is that one person who cruelly tramples on it."

Loneliness

What is loneliness? Why does a person get inflicted by it at times? If man was made to be his own companion, why does he need people around constantly? More specifically, why do we always need love to survive?

Isn't it ironic how when the night is supposed to be the most beautiful part of the day, yet it brings with it evil of all kinds. Maybe that's why our bodies were created to sleep it off. But we still go through the torture of laying awake at the oddest hours, and have our minds corrupted with the insingnificant of thoughts. And have those thoughts invade our heart with excrutiating pain. Sadness, exhaustion, longing. All emotions that carry pain. But nothing comes close to loneliness.

Doesn't a man want to spend the days of his life with himself only? Nobody like his own soul who understands him best. To please himself by fulfilling its wants, feed himself to be fulfilled, be content with no complications whatsoever. To avoid misunderstandings, frustrations when things dont go your way and incomplete love. But no. We were created to interact emotionally with other humans by giving love, in order to recieve some. And when one is unable to provide love, or Is prevented by the ugliness of human nature to do so, he sinks into the depths of complete self-pity and unwanted stress of being morally and emotionally unsatisfied. The heart pulpulates pain with every squeeze, till it becomes unbearable at one point. And eyes begin to overflow with water. How wierd it is that those little droplets of water that so slowly slide down the delicate skin, calms the heart within. So that the pain doesn't burst into flames and reduce you to ashes. To nothing.


But have you ever thought, why did god make us this way? This strong longing for love and satisfaction all the time? Maybe because He wants ourselves to remember something that we so easily tend to forget. That when those moments of loneliness come crashing on to you, when you think you don't have what ur longing for, He is right there. Watching you from above. His love greater than life. He who always listens to you, looks out for you and never ever leaves you to the wolves for even a second. Why? Because he loves you constantly. That one entity that will never let you drown into those never ending depths of mental emptiness. Never.

And that contradicts loneliness.

Heart on Lyrics - Jhoom (Ali Zafar)

maine tujhe dekha

hanste hue galon mein

bezar khayalon mein

husun ke hawalo mein

soni ke balon mein

morni ki chalo mein

matti ke pyalo mein

pital ke thano mein

jitni tu milti jaye

utni lage hai todhi todhi

jab bhi tu le angdayi

aake mere ori to

dil jhoom jhoom chale
jhoom jhoom chale soneha soneha

dil jhoom jhoom chale

jhoom jhoom chale soneha soneha

Bachapan ke sawan beete

ladkpan ki beeti dhara

jab mud ke dekha piche

to choota jeevan sara

phir bhi teri aas pakad ke

har ik din guzara hai

teri ik nazar pe meri

sans ka sahara hai

tumse veenti karat hun

dil todo na hamara

Dil jhoom jhoom chale

jhoom jhoom chale soneha soneha

dil jhoom jhoom chale

jhoom jhoom chale soneha soneha

Do matware naina hamare
teri hi rah takat hain pyare

mann ki mere preet bujha re

tan ke mere sez saza re

sochat kyun rehum to hare

bar barhar dar dar har dagar

karun tera intezar

dil jhoom jhoom chale

jhoom jhoom chale soneha soneha

dil jhoom jhoom chale

jhoom jhoom chale soneha soneha

Maine tujhe dekha

subha ke unjalo mein

nadiya mein nalon mein

lamho mein salon mein

pyar karne walon mein

junoon mein jiyalo mein

ishk ke malalo mein

zinda misalon mein

jitni tu milti jaye

utni lage todhi todhi

zindagi ki dori maine

piya sang jodi

dil jhoom jhoom chale

jhoom jhoom chale chale soneha

dil jhoom chale jhoom jhoom chale soneha........................o soneha

Will you be my valentine?

Look around you. What do you see? Red roses, full bloomed and freshly picked standing proud in flowers shops. Heart lollies and candies dotting the supermart shelves. Cuddly teddy bears holding romantic messages in every little corner. Red heart balloons bumping around in the breeze outside every store you walk by. In short, its hearts and red everywhere! Yup, love is very much in the air. It's valentine's season again!

This day definitely puts the L in love. Though St.Valentines didn't do much to provoke so much affection between people on this day, love definitely needed a day to be celebrated. Why? Its the only emotion thats strong enough to cause people to act like complete idiots (speaking in the good sense afcourse). Everything is about love. You earn money so you can take out your girl to the poshest restaurants and buy her LVs. You get up every morning early enough not to miss your bus to school, just so you can meet her before the classes start. You stay online the entire day pretending to be busy with homework, when in real you're waiting for her to come online. You wait in front of the entrance to her building, just to get a glimpse of her leaving for work everyday. Doesn/t it all come down to love anyway? Yes it does.

But valentine's can be funny too, when people think they have no one to love. How is that possible? Valentines is not about having a steady partner or spouse, its about having love in your life. And in return loving someone. Dont you love your parents? your grandma? your friends? kids? neighbours? your dog? How in the world can you ever think that no one loves you? Laugh at your own stupidity and count your blessings. Get a romantic movie, a tub of buttered popcorn and you're all set for a night with one person you will always love no matter what. Yourself.

So...i watched 'Valentine's Day'couple weeks ago. Was in the mood to watch a romantic love story and convince myself that yeah, love does still exist. My advice to you, don't bother watching it, it completly destroys the beautiful concept of this day and ends up giving you jitters. Thank god I have had time to recover from that ugliness. I mean valentines day is epic. So full of pleasant surprises and happy smiles. Not insane, idiotic performances that this movie showed unshamefully.

Still the question remains...who is your valentine?

Eternal Book of Thoughts

...and as the soft breeze whispers lightly through the night,
the pages of forgotten memories turn lightly on its music,
till they stop and lay open at a painful past...a past long gone,
a past of true longing and happy smiles,
of cheerful laughs and soft kisses,
a past where angels whispered words of love,
and where the violins played ever so in tune,
where the skies were so blue and the flowers so bright,
and eyes spoke what lips could never speak,
where two souls innocently became one,
and as the sun set over the horizon far away,
promises were made never to be broken,
But as the dancing breeze grows to howling winds,
the pages turn faster and quicker in fear,
the golden happiness fades to painful tears of regret,
and yellowed pages tell tales of horrified mistrusts,
of constant fights and broken beliefs,
of hearts that were selfishly shattered to tiny little pieces,
of clingy guilts and tough misunderstandings,
that turned merry chatter to deafening silences,
the long pauses that became less intimate,
and sad wistful thinking in the darkest of nights,
the sky became thunderous as black clouds overshadow the brightness,
and forlorn eyes looked for comfort in mirrors of smoke.
The wretched thoughts that rise up from the pages of this book,
stand for nothing but smudged scratches of ink,
and as the last page remains standing,
the book of memories closes finally to leave behind nothing,
but everlasting lonliness...

Heart on Lyrics : Broken Angel (Arash ft. Helena)

I'm so lonely, broken angel

I'm so lonely, listen to my heart..

man dooset daram:

I've loved you

be cheshme man gerye nade:

Don't give cry to my eyes

na, nemitoonam:

No, i can't

bedoone to halam bade:

Without you i'm depressed

Ï'm so lonely, broken angel

I'm so lonely, listen to my heart

One n' only, broken angel

Come n' save me, before I fall apart

To harja ke bashi kenaretam:

Wherever you be, i'm beside you

ta akharesh divoonatam:

to the end , i'm psychotic of you

to , to nemidooni , ke joonami , bargard pisham :

you , you don't know , that you are my life , come back foreside me

I'm so lonely, broken angel

I'm so lonely, listen to my heart

One n' only, broken angel

Come n' save me, before I fall apart

la leyli , la la leyli , la laaa

I'm so lonely, broken angel

I'm so lonely, listen to my heart

One n' only, broken angel

Come n' save me, before I fall apart (x2)

la leyli, la la leyli , la laaa

Princess Diaries : 7 - Every single second is a battle

Dear Diary,

Every single second is a damn struggle...struggle to breathe, struggle to think, struggle to move on. Its a struggle to not type what your heart feels, to stay quite and push the feelings deeper within and its a struggle to press the red button instead of the green. Life can make you feel so stupid sometimes. You have to cat fight your heart into doing something just because its 'right'. Throwing away your happiness just to play by the rules. Wish i could just run forever and not look back. Not look back at the damning society that follows your every move like a b****, the bland days that have to be faced everyday. Its like the world suddenly turns black and white. Through the haze of smoke, its hard to face reality. Never let go of that smoke, of something that takes the pain away for few minutes. I cant ever. Want more and more, till one day i wouldnt have to face anything.

Yes dear diary, pain is what its all about. But what's worse is you have no one to share that pain with. How could you? Its gonna break mentals, cause havocs. But sometimes...you just have to be strong. Not only for you, but for life itself. For it to understand that what you did had to be done. There was no other way. This path of thorns was the only way to get through to the other side of the cliff. Heaven doesnt last forever. You have to work for it. Maybe i epxected it to be all roses and smiles forever...and thats where i was wrong. I have to work for it dear diary, to make it mine.

But what pains even more is that life never understood. It never was about showing off your feelings or encasing them to the entire world, no...it never was .It was more personal. A precious gem in between. It was about the secret smile that was shared, a similar thought that was said aloud at the same time, the same song being repeated in the head a hundred times. It was about the intense chemistry when sparks flew, the thousand words that the eyes exchanged, and the quite assurance of being secure when one's around. Oh diary it was about the softest touch, the frantic search when lost and the romance that bloomed in the quitest of nights.

It was beautiful.

Like a song that had violins play to the emotions. Dear diary, it was perfect, like a red rose in full bloom on a summer morning. And it was magical, like a fairytale with all its fairy godmothers and glass slippers.
Maybe i just want to end here, cuz i dont want to face reality.

Maybe i want to live with the memories for a while, let them take me away.

Maybe...

I have no other choice.