When you Expect.

It is all about expectations anyways, isn't it?

What breaks or makes a relationship is how much you expect and how much you actually get in return.

There comes highs and lows too. In the beginning you have very low outlook on how the other person maybe, but as the chemistry and attachment increases, so do expectations. And that's where compromise steps in.

So the other person might not always be a gentleman, or he may not be in the mood to express just as much, that doesn't mean you throw everything away just for that one day.

Simmer down, look away, pretend like that part of disappointment didn't exist, and move on. 

But too many disappointments lead to anger. And anger cannot be extinguished with just thoughts. 

Why do we expect in the first place anyways?

Why do we wait for the other person to return to us what we have given out of love? 

If you love, then you should love. Not expect anything in return. That's not love. That's expecting the other to feel the exact same way you feel, which is very unrealistic. Because every person has a different life situation, different school of thoughts, different goals in life and different wants and needs that change according to time.

So expectations kills a relationship.

And some relationships are too precious to be wasted away like that. 

Restless

And I couldn't hold it in anymore, 

as the tears started running on their own. 

And the sobs heaved my heart dry, 

as the pain hit me headlong,

the emotions so strong.

I cried till the night turned over on its back.

I cried till the birds chirped waking up.

I cried till the first rays shone on the lingering droplets from last night.

I cried.

Till my heart was tired.

And the tears dried.

From the lack of more fight.

And I closed my eyes,

To your beautiful memories,

As you smiled right at me,

As we made love gently.

When your lips drank away my needs,

And fingers trailed my skin so preciously.

I cuddled into your endless thoughts,

And slowly,

drifted off restlessly.

Stronger

The hardest part about all this,

Was not leaving you to die a slow death,

But to realize at every passing breath,

how much you really meant to me.

The worst thing about me,

Is not having strength enough,

To turn around,

and run back into your arms,

Where I had found,

A precious sanctity away from all harms.

Let them hold me tight and strong,

Where I belong,

And the place where my soul was reborn.

But now I'm stuck here,

This airless corner of the cruel world,

And every second without you,

Has made me realize,

How big a mistake I made when I walked away.

For everything was so right,

When you were right here by,

And now I'm lying here all alone,

My soul almost dead and gone,

To think how I've been so very wrong,

To leave the only thing that ever lasted this long.

Infinity is you,

The only person I can ever belong to.

And I want to apologize,

For all the pain I caused,

And I wish the rain would wipe your tears away,

For I,

should have been stronger anyway.

Kun FaYaKun

My heart aches when I think about you, so far away. Maybe because I know I'm the only one who can love you right, but then I'm the only one is not allowed to love you. I torture myself thinking back to your smiles, the laughs when you are happy. The sigh of contentment when the comfort level is too high and the moment too perfect. The tiny kisses when your heart overflows from love from second to second. I think back to how my heartbeats slow to a drag in your arms, and how I feel like no outside entity can ever touch me while I'm with you, simply because you won't let it. And my heart dies a little under the thorns of those of memories. I want to let you go. But I can't. You are the only thing holding me to this world. It's because of you I look out the window every morning and smile at the beautiful colors splashed all around me. It's you that shows me the hidden secrets of life that are worth living for. I have fallen so deeply in love with you that nor the earth, nor the heavens are vast enough to contain it. Nor has ever love been so timeless and evergreen. But this tiny ray of hope. It keeps me yearning for you. Day and night. At every point in my day. 

Kun FaYaKun.

If HE wills it to be. It will be.