Touching you slightly, reminding you it's still there.
You say hello and goodbye at the same time. You don't want that memory to linger. Don't want that empty void to grab your attention. Remind you of whats not there. You want to stay fulfilled and happy.
But that memory nudges you. Waiting for you to pay more attention to it. To accept the feelings it bought with it. No matter how much they hurt.
And one day you give in to it. As exasperated as you are, you decide to accept it. And take on the bleak feelings that come with it. As much as you are high in life, you do look inside and give a thought to what it is that's bothering you.
And you realize. And then you admit.
You miss.
You miss that fascination with sleek fast cars. You miss the intelligent sarcasm. You miss that red hot anger that flared from time to time. You miss being yourself and sharing your most sacred thoughts without the fear of being misunderstood. You miss those intimate moments of fierce connection. Most of all you miss that underlying affection that exist under all that those denying words.
You miss a lot.
And then you wonder if ever the thought of you crossed that mind. Probably not.
Or probably you don't want it to.
It's too much work. It's never enough.
It should just stay this way.
No matter how much you yearn it. No matter how much you care for it.
Leave it like you would leave a diamond necklace on the shelf, untouched, unowned. Just beautiful on its own. A beautiful fantasy.
"The pale stars were sliding into their places. The whispering of the leaves was almost hushed. All about them it was still and shadowy and sweet. It was that wonderful moment when, for lack of a visible horizon, the not yet darkened world seems infinitely greater—a moment when anything can happen, anything be believed in." -Olivia Howard Dunbar
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