Death

Silence,

Deafening.

Can't hear you no more,

Can't feel my soul no more.

If only you had known,

What you have become to me,

Not a passing phase,

Not even a forgotten moment, 

But a part of me.

With you I felt myself come back to life,

When dead feelings suddenly revived,

When songs sounded sweeter,

The flowers so much more brighter.

When fantasies tumbled over one another,

When my hands never stopped writing.

You gave me life once more,

Let me breathe once again.

But just then you slammed a wall between us,

Can't reach you no more.

Can't feel you no more.

Do you not see the panic in my eyes?

Don't leave me to wither alone,

Don't let go just yet.

If only I could scratch this wall away,

But nothing seems to shake it.

And I slide down helpless,

I'm losing blood,

My skin is yellowing.

You took it away before I could have it.

And all you left me with are lies.

Broken promises and more lies.

Let me die in peace now, 

Not even my corpse deserves you anymore.

Soulmate

Someone like you comes around so rare,

Makes my heart burn with just one stare,

I lose courage to look you in the face,

If I do, your lips are all I taste,

Just a wish to hold you around the waist,

Just a dream to never waste,

A moment not drowning in your beautiful eyes,

A second not feeling my heart race wild,

Why do I connect with you like no other?

Why does it feel so good that it would have never worked with another?

My imagination runs wild with thoughts of laying with you,

Whispering sweet noises in your soft ears,

Finally I've found someone who hears,

Not from the ear, but from the heart 

If I lost you I'd surely fall apart

Into the abyss without my soul,

Blackened heart, darkened to coal,

Unless you stay to keep the fire alive,

Without oxygen, fire cannot thrive.  

-SH

Falling I am, 

Lost my soul I have.

When did that oxygen run out?

When did this fire die out?

You promised to keep me afloat,

But you pushed me down with all your might so.

Are you running away from your needs?

Or pushing me out cuz I don't deserve you to me?

We did connect like we never did with another,

Yet it never was enough to keep going forever.

I miss you.

I may even have been with you.

But somehow, somewhere I lost you.

And now I'm falling in that deep abyss,

With nothing but broken pieces of my heart a miss.

So waste away your wishes and dreams,

Cuz it was all a lie, a bunch of empty promises.

Yet your sweet words still echo,

Bringing memories of not so long ago. 

And I can't let go,

Cuz you showed me what this world could never show.

I made your heart run wild,

I made your imagination bloom far and wide. 

Look back and realize,

What we had was so real and nice.

Come back,

Just once and I'll never let it go off track.

Cuz No matter how hard I try,

I just can't let go.

Can't let go of you.

 

That Conflict within

The biggest decisions of life is made by simply listening to the heart. That is what most philosophers and poets have taught us for centuries. Follow your instinct, let your soul guide you.  To what extent is that true? How far can you let your heart take decisions before the brain moves in? And how would you take a decision between something that is wrong but feels right and something that is right but feels wrong? Is that your instinct showing the right way? Or lust getting in between you and your heart?

So many questions, yet little to no answers. From the beginning of time I've never trusted my heart taking decisions. Hell if I let it, I would probably be in ruins regretting every decision ever made in the past. But I just can't seem to shake off this nagging feeling that is tugging at my heart strings every so often. Would have been so much better if there was some kinda mutual communication between the heart and the brain. At least I wouldn't swinging like a pendulum between the two, unable to understand my actions or thoughts.

And this is what every human on this earth goes through. Conflicted. Unable to decipher feelings. Yet what we end up doing is the complete opposite of what we want to do. Our actions don't soothe the inner conflicts, on the contrary it makes things worse. We end up hurting others, or others hurting you. This is how hate grows, when you don't give in to your feelings to simply love that person. When you oppose it, just to live according to the rules of the society and not be a misfit.

I guess the only answer is to ignore something you don't understand. I don't understand what my heart is trying to point out. So I decide to ignore it.

Eventually these screams of plea will die out.