I look out at the empty sky. The vast spread of the sea beneath me. And I think. That's how much I love you. As much water as there is in the sea. And every drop of that water, is constantly falling between us. Till we are immersed in it. When just a few hours ago you had me pinned to yourself. A part of your soul. And now here I am. All alone. Not even the cold ready to embrace me. You loved me when I was near. And now you love the one that you are with. I feel stranded in wait. For I can't replace you that fast. The warmth of your embrace has started to give away. I can feel the chill climbing up my spine. The same place that you numbed me with your fingers just seconds ago. That's how quick you've been in and out of my life.
You asked me why I become distant after few days of losing you? It's because I tear up inside. Slashed with the sharp blade of emptiness and longing. And the pain is so much that I have no choice but to abandon you. Because I don't deserve it. I deserve so much more than this temporary happiness. Maybe I don't deserve anything at all. Because I've sold my soul to the devil. But then constant grief is better than tiny flashes of happiness that pulls back too quickly.
And so I need to leave you. For I have lost everything already. My sanity. My peace. My belief. My soul. I have nothing left anymore. I am more limp than a corpse is. And I'm going to turn it all off now. Walk away from you. I know you'll scream but I'll turn a deaf ear. I know you will try to grab me but I'll become invisible. I am going to walk away and pray that your pain calms earlier than mine ever would. I am sorry.
