Dear Diary,
There is so much I want to say to you. I'm bursting at the seams. All I want to do is grab you, shake you so very hard and scream at the top of the lungs. Scream so you would hear me. Scream so you would acknowledge my existence. Shake you out of your dreams and into mine. Those dreams that had us bonded so very tight, once upon a time. When this world was enough for just you and I. And nothing else.
But I can't do that, can I? No, I can't. No one likes a screaming girl. That's just too much drama. You wouldn't really care for my dreams when you're so happily immersed into your reality. You wouldn't want to divert your attention towards mine. You wouldn't want to look into my eyes and see them brimmed with desperation. You wouldn't. Because it's faded for you. Faded. Faded into a black void. Leaving nothing but ashes behind.
And that void has killed my heart. That nothingness has sucked me into a never ending well of sadness. I'm free falling into it. It's a long way to the bottom my love, but I'll hit it one day. And everything will blow into sparkling colorful confetti. The happiness that was never allowed to be released. It will get a way out. Will you then still not look back at me? Will you still not hold me in your arms?
The kiss in the rain.
