Love everyday

Call me wierd, call me crazy, but isn't it a wonder how you can fall so completely in love with someone out of the blue. Sigh! I feel like that tiny little bbm emoticon with those dancing hearts for eyes and a goofy smile pasted on its face. ' Love is in the air' is definitely an understatement.

So, morning comes. You wake up with expectations riding high, stretching out all the kinks from the wonderful dreams the night before. Check your cellphone. A message from the night before about how much he missed you in the wee dark lonely hours before going to sleep? Or maybe a Bbm status change to what a beautiful part of his life you have become? Or maybe maybe a FB status update wishing you a lovely start to another great day? Hmm..nothing. So you jump off to freshen up and retouch that glowing complexion incase he decides for a quick meetup. Sigh, love can really lift you to the ninth cloud and have you floating there all day long.

The day drags on, filled with wildly extravagant daydreams and longer sighs. The wait turns from milliseconds to seconds to minutes, which very slowly turn into hours. Oh the strain! The lovely, breezy day starts turning humid and stuffy, the perky flowers lose their color. The merry little butterflies turn into brown, disgusting moths and the chirpy music slows to horror. As the sun goes down, the female mind starts churning with questions far-fetched. Has he forgotten about me? Does he have more interesting things than me to do? Has he bored of me? Why hasn't he messaged? WHY HASN'T HE CALLED YET?

And that is when your world falls apart. That lack of attention that you severly crave, that confession of love that you expect everyday. 'Oh woe the heavens! Why didn't you just let me die before having me face this day!' Every cell in your body feels betrayed, anguished to the very core. And just when you decide to update your FB status with a incredible depressing statement before plunging yourself into a tearful slumber for the night, there comes a tiny 'ping' of a notification. A poem. A beautiful, long poem written just for you. A declaration of undying love forever. A jumble of thoughts drowned in your affection. A piece of heart that has taken more than few hours to write and iron out. An effort that lifts you up into the heavens again and makes you forget deep hole of depression that you were spiralling through few minutes ago. 'Oh how lovely! How thoughtful! He hasnt forgotton me after all!'

And you graze throught the poem again and again a million times, till it is engraved in golden letters on the surface of your tiny little brain. The beautiful words flow out and feather touch each sense with a fragrance so sweet. Hmm..

Sometimes its quite sad how easy it is to actually please the innocent mind in love. Sigh...

That one wierd moment

Have ever had those moments where a wave of unhappiness just washes over you out of nowhere? You could be sitting at the kitchen table cutting tomatoes listening to Bach or taking your daily walk by the beach checking out the hot 'surfer' guys, and WHAM! it just hits you. A sad feeling of missing someone/thing from your life. A red, solid brick square in the face. And that ONE person pops into mind, who had been a real special part of your life once upon a time. A veryyyyy long time back.

Why THAT one person? Why not someone that is just two miles away, or just a phonecall away? Or better yet right in the next room only two steps away? Nop. Can't be as easy as that can it, or it just wouldn't be called life, would it? No no nooooo. It has to be that one person who you hadn't spoken to in centuries, who you have had some pretty childishly embarassing (but fond) memories to cherish with and who could be probably married the second time and be a father to four bloody kids for all you know. And out of the million much more memorable & romantic encounters in life, your brain has to go and miss that ONE person! Seriously? Talk about life throwing big, juicy watermelons at you. Atleast I have the opportunity to blame it all on my frantic hormones that seem to be doing the roller coaster ride with my emotions taken my swelled condition.

So what do you do? Go back memory lane a bit while you're still cutting up those tomatoes or avoiding bicyclists, and think up all those funny/romantic memories that melts your heart even further. Ahhh....what blissful days. Bring out your blackberry and browse through your friends of friends of friends pictures on FB to see if you might spot a picture of him anywhere at all. Oh! That horrible empty spot of longing that seems to widen with every passing second! Should you try and contact him to let him know how much you crave his attention right this very minute, or your heart might just disfunction and break down any moment now? Then comes 'The big fight'. At this stage, the brain realises that an important portion of your grey matter is being engaged in a very useless train of thoughts and thus distracting you horribly from the cutting/walking. So it fights down the poor, melancholy heart with hard ass facts.

'You do remember that BS of a guy cheated on you with your closest friend, that too right under your nose, eh?'

'And what about the time he lied to you about loving till death do us apart, when his intentions were to only screw you in bed?'

The heart retaliates poorly. Unfortunately, most of the times its a lose - lose situation for the weak heart where it never was respected in the first place. So the big, wide gap of longing fills up with murky waters of hate once again.

And by this time, the tomatoes are all cut up or you have reached your front door already.

So much to have given someone the hiccups of their life.